How to deal with my crazy mother?!?

My mother has always been a royal pain in my ***. And by that I mean she has treated my very unfair my entire life. I am 21 years old. I've been married for almost 3 years now to a Marine and he is about to deploy in a few months. I've opted not to move back in with my parents while he is deployed, but I need help while he is gone because I'm scheduled to have a surgery in a couple months. So I'm moving in with my husband's Aunt, who has been through the same surgery and is also a counselor.





However, my mother is very hurt by this action. She doesn't understand why I am not coming home. She is very controlling, irrational and immoral. Before I got married and moved away she was using me really bad and guilt tripping me into doing things for her. I'm still going to have to deal with her on a more frequent basis, but I'm not sure if I can forgive her for everything she has done to me.





I guess to explain in more detail, She never wanted me to begin with. My mother has had like 9 abortions and the only reason she didn't abort me was because she waited to long and my dad wouldn't let her. She has no moral grounds what so ever. She forced herself to miscarry when she was 7 months pregnant with a child a couple years after I was born, by drinking and fourwheeling and physically trying to hurt the baby inside her. She told me all of this with no regrets!





All through my childhood she did crazy things like encouraging me to fight at school, and telling me how fat I am and ugly. She always said to tell people how it is and they will respect you for it... but it really damaged my self-confidence and assurance.





When I met my husband in high school, I was working, going to school, doing all of the housework, taking care of our animals, the pool, weedeating the 4 acres around our house that is so steep you can't possible use a mower on it, gardening, and all you can think of just for her.


My current husband, back then (before we were married) had become my twin more or less helping me with these things and was always around and then he joined the military and went to boot camp.





Leading up to the boot camp I helped him train. My mother got extremely jealous and took my car from me, that I was paying for and was in my name! and nearly caused me to lose my job.


Then when he graduated from boot camp and his mother had not transportation to get down to his graduation and I wanted to be there anyway, I decided to take my car and go. I had been driving for 3 years already and PI is only 3 hours away... not like crossing the country or anything. My mother tried everything she could think of to stop me. A couple weeks later, he needed a ride from the airport, my mom tried to take my keys again. I stood up for myself and she kicked me out. Shortly after she threatened to call my car in as stolen. Which was crazy because the title was in my name and I was paying for it, only she thought she had leway because the insurance was cheaper for me to have it in someone elses name, so my grandmother, who hasn't driven in ten years or more opened the insurance and put herself on as the primary and me as the secondary and I was paying that. But my mom tried every way she could to get my grandmother to cancel the insurance.





While he had been in bootcamp, I was forced to work two jobs just pay my bills (in which I am still in debt to this day for credit cards and accounts that she took out in my name), and afford college classes, and my mother still forced me to do all of the cleaning in her house, dishes cooking, etc. And got irrationally irrate if I didnt do them immediately. She never allowed me to prioritize anything if she was the priority. And the classes I was taking online I nearly failed because she wasn't allowing me any time.





She took up drinking alot, and told me that I was the root of all her problems. That because I didnt like her listening to her music at 4 am (while I was going to school and working 2 jobs) that I was making her fat. And aparently she was down in her back, only she could go fourwheeling and drink and party, but she couldn't share any of the responsibility around the home.





My father.... poor man, I don't see how he put up with all of her emotional abuse. And her wasting all of his money and treating him like ****.





Finally when she kicked me out because I refused to let her take my car. My current husband decided that he was going to rescue me from that hell and asked me to marry him. My mom tried every way possible to make sure that didnt happen. She even threatened to kill my dog!





And now, that I've been away from her for 3 years and semi-getting along... I have to move back within her vicinity and she has taken it personal that I'm not coming to live with her and take care of her. She tells me that I'm a failure for not being finished with school by now. And believes that my goal in life should be toHow to deal with my crazy mother?!?
meh youve moved out you dont have to talk to her anymore next time she comes around shot a gun up in the air and tell her to get her butt off of your property or else shes getting it....then if she dont leave call the police and tell them some crazy lady is stalking around your yard for about half and hour and wont leaveHow to deal with my crazy mother?!?
We get it. She's a b*tch. Don't talk to her anymore, don't return her phone calls, don't visit, cut her out of your life.
Stay away from your mom as much as possible!!!! she is not happy with herself and misery loves company! she will try and control u till the day she dies, don't let her. she doesn't want whats best for you, If she did she wouldn't act like that.call her once a week to say Hi If she starts to put you on a quilt trip tell her you have to go.... don't be fed poison. only let positive people in your life that build you up not tear you apart.