Thursday, August 19, 2010

How do I deal with my creepy, inappropriate, married neighbor?

I went to a BBQ at my neighbor's house Friday night. Him and his wife were there, some of her friends, and his friends from his unit (he's Army). Its the first time I've ever hung out with them...I figured it would be nice to get to know them since they live right behind my husband and I. I had a great time talking with the other Army wives about how much it sucks that our husbands are deployed (mine is in Iraq). My daughter ran around with the other kids and wore herself out. The people we great, the food was amazing, and my daughter and I came home exhausted. Well, my neighbor showed up at my door about ten minutes after I got home. I figured he came by because I forgot something...I didn't...but I talked to him for a little bit. It was about 11pm and he made comments that I felt were inappropriate. He told me that he could see in my windows, then asked which ones looked into my bedroom (I never keep those curtains open thank God!), asked if he could come by later that night, when I told him no he said he'd call me up and we could hang out the Saturday while his wife is working (I avoided him), and then he asked for a hug before he left (I said no). He called me yesterday and he called twice today...I didn't answer. I've gotten hit on before and had no problem telling those guys ';I'm married'; and ';no';, but my neighbor just creeps me out and I haven't gotten the guts to face him to tell him to back off. I had a friend come hang out with me all day because I was afraid to be home alone. He knows my husband is in Iraq, which makes me even more freaked out. I don't know what do to. He scares me. You have no idea how happy I am that I just had a security system installed in our house. Can I get a no contact order or restraining order? If so, don't I need proof of some kind? We own our home, so just up and moving isn't really an optoin, so how do I deal with living next to him?How do I deal with my creepy, inappropriate, married neighbor?
Sounds like a stalker.How do I deal with my creepy, inappropriate, married neighbor?
where I come from we are gun owners. Talk about how you want the chance to shoot pervs in the nuts.
I wouldn't normally advocate this, but in this case, I'd tell his wife. Try to cry and show some fear when you speak with her. Tell her you are totally uncomfortable with his attention and felt she should know. If that isn't effective, you could tell his commander.
He does sound creepy and sometimes being direct to the point of being rude is the answer. Some guys just don't get the message easily. I understand that you would feel a little tentative as they are your neighbors and you have only just started to get to know them but I would be forceful in letting him know how you feel. Something along the lines of ';I am not interesting in ';hanging out'; with you or being alone with you at all. Leave me alone. Don't come here again, you are creeping me out!'; If he doesn't get the message, go to his wife and tell her that you were concerned that her husband wanted to hang out with you while she wasn't there and you felt she should know. If he persists you may have no option other than to call the police and let them know that he refuses to leave you alone, that your husband is in Iraq and tell them the types of things he is saying about you windows and that should be enough for them to at least talk to him about his behavior.





Best of luck.
I would try and talk with his wife..... She might not believe it at first so maybe you can talk with her while he is there and make a joke about it like, 'ha, I can't believe you husband--- he's always checking up on me...... and then continue on about it.. You may want to say, you don't have to come over so late because (child) is sleeping and I have the alarm on...








If you don't say something and leave it alone he could become more turned on... That is creepy though.. good luck to you and I hope hubby comes home soon.

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